some of my favorite journal entries


Hello, friends!

This is going to be a very different post and definitely my most personal to this date. I know you guys are probably looking for bookish content, but life has been super messy and busy lately, so I wanted to just quickly sit down and write this post.

I was inspired to write this by Annie, from Zoelogist, whose posts I absolutely adore. She’s so smart and all her posts are really thought-provoking. Even though she has never written about her journal entries, I feel like this is the type of post she would’ve shared. I will never be as eloquent as she is, but still, I wanted to try.

I started journaling for real only recently. It was one of my 2019 resolutions to write more. At the beginning of the year, I had this journal to documment all the books and movies I read, but soon I realized it would be too time-consuming, since I was reading and watching so much.

I dropped it and only got back to journaling now. It is the most personal type of journaling I’ve ever done, and it’s been such a great journey. I feel like, before, I’d have these really deep thoughts and I’d dismiss them quickly, but now I actually sit with them for a while longer and try to put them into words.

I’m journaling in English, for obvious reasons, but also because I find that I think in English most of the time these days. My friends probably think I’m crazy.

But yeah, there you go, some of my favorite parts of the journal entries I’ve written so far (because sometimes I actually can be smart and write stuff I’m proud of):

“I feel like most of the time I’m just existing on my own private world and hoping desperately for someone to bust down the walls.”

“I’ll never have prom or homecoming or football games or school plays. I’m getting older by the minute and Halloween parties and school dances are all part of a dream inspired off of Disney shows and YA books that will never come true. And even though it’s been 10 months since I left high school, it feels like only now I can come to terms with it. It’s hard giving up on something you never had to begin with.”

“At what point do you go from a ‘I-think’ teenager to a ‘I-know’ adult?”

“Basically: being ace also sucks and we’re not even free to complain about it because ‘you’re not being beat up on the streets over it’.”

“Revisiting old journals, I realized this may be the first time I am writing about myself and not my idols or other celebrities. My autobiography will start at the age of 19.”

“I am the world’s most self-depreciating narcissist. In fact, I think there’s something inherently narcissistic about self hate”.

If you’ve read this far: do you journal? If not, did you keep a diary when you were younger? Do you like looking back on it or it’s too cringe-y? What did you write about? Let’s chat in the comments!


20 comentários sobre “some of my favorite journal entries

  1. I think it’s amazing that you journal and really brave to share it on here. I really relate to the first of the thoughts that you shared. I have social anxiety and im just really isolated as a result and it’s really not a nice feeling. I hope that you manage to keep going with the journalling (:

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    • Thank you so much, Charlotte! The second I posted this, I felt like deleting it, lol. It was really weird sharing this with the world, but I’m so happy with the positive response.
      Feeling isolated is such an awful feeling. I tell myself I really love being alone, but sometimes, it can be a real burden.
      Thank you so, so, so much for reading & for the lovely comment! 💛

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  2. Thank you for sharing this, Lais! I think it’s very brave of you! <3
    Answering the final question, yes, I do keep a journal. In fact, I keep two. One of them is for everything, for my ups and downs (mostly downs), to dump all the information my brain can't process, to just write what I feel I can't say to people … And the other was a gift from my gf, along with a promise I'd only write good things on it (need to use it more often, frankly).
    I'm sorry to know you struggle with such thoughts! I hope journaling helps you find some peace. If you ever need, I'm only a message away <3

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    • Thank you so much, Marta!
      I think that’s so lovely! I had a journal back in 2017 where I had to write something I was thankful for everyday. Some days were harder than others, but it made me realize how there were still a lot of positive things to be thankful for even in the worst days.
      Thank you sooooo much! And thanks for reading too! 💞

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  3. okay, you’re like officially one of my favorite bloggers ever. you posts are just the best! journaling really is pretty amazing; it has so many benefits and i alwaysss carry mine with me. song lyrics, story inspo, or just thoughts about anything and everything.

    i can totally relate to the first one. it’s not a great feeling to have, i know! for me it’s like pushing myself into my own shell, but also wanting to have this excuse to break it down. #relatable i think sometimes we’re all caught up in everything that used to be in front of us the whole time. you never know what you have until you leave. it’s pretty familiar XD

    this post was so eye-opening, lais! thank you for sharing this with us <3 keep journaling!!

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    • ahhhhh, thank you soooo much! this was just such a thoughtful comment im so emotional rn.
      i really need to keep track of some of those ideas more often. i end up always forgetting to write story inspirations or other random ideas and i really wish i did this more often.
      you totally got it! it’s not the nicest feeling ever, but i’m glad to hear you could relate to it.
      thank you so much for reading and for being the nicest person ever! 💞

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  4. I’m glad you’re enjoying journaling! I love keeping a diary & have for a couple years now. Sure, some of my younger stuff is cringy but that’s all part of the fun! It’s good to laugh at little me 😂

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  5. Journaling sounds so amazing!! I’ve seen people do it and think it great to make time to be with your thoughts but I never have myself!! I think I did actually have one when I was younger and I used to write about friends, school and random things I think. I remember one entry being about spiders and one being about me being scared of going on a plane!! 😂
    Thank you for sharing this Lais. I’m so glad you decided to!!
    I loved reading your journal entries!! And I certainly relate to some of them — the first one about being in your private world and wanting someone to knock the walls down. The constant wanting to be part of something. And the part about school, feeling you aren’t a part of it properly but having to give it up in a way not even by choice in the end.
    I certainly don’t feel like an adult either and I’m starting to think no one does!!
    I absolutely love the last quote– it is really clever and makes you think!!
    Thank you for sharing something so personal and I’m sending you all the best wishes!! 💛

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    • Hahah, the best entries are from our journals when we’re kids. I used to documment the weirdest stuff, so it’s really hilarious looking back on most of them.
      It was really scary sharing this; I’m so happy with the positive responses!
      Adulting has been the most consuming thought on my head lately. It can be really scary, honestly.
      Thank you sooooo much, Sophie! Thanks for the lovely comment too! 💛

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  6. I love this post so much. I’m so happy you’ve been enjoying journaling so much, it sounds like such a good thing to do and to… well, let it all out, somehow. Maybe I should give it a try haha. I love your entries, thank you for sharing them and that’s so brave of you to do so, too. That part about high school feels way too relatable to me, I feel like so much of my high school experience should have been like things I’ve read and shows I’ve seen, but… well, everything is different depending and where we live and I had a hard time coming to terms with that haha.
    Lovely post <3

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    • Thank you so much, Marie! Journaling has been a really powerful experience for me and I highly recommend you try it out.
      Exactly! I think I put a lot of expectations about what high school was supposed to look like and it’s weird realizing there will never be a time in which these expectations will come true.
      Thank you so much for reading through it, Marie! It means a lot ❤️

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  7. Wow wow wow this is beautiful, Lais. Hear me say that okay?? You are so kind to describe this as the kind of post I would write. Thank you. I’m restraining myself from using exclamation marks right now, not because my current feelings aren’t the exclamatory kind, but because I’m trying to convey how seriously I’m feeling them too!!
    That line: My autobiography will start at the age of 19. There’s something so catching about the sentence. And the line about it being difficult giving up something you never had? It reminds me of a podcast I listen to and the person talking about mourning lost dreams.
    Please excuse me if this is an insensitive question-what does “being ace” mean?
    Thank you for writing this post, Lais-I hope to be as honest as your words here in my writing.

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    • annie, thank you sooooooo much for reading! your words mean a lot to me, because as you said, you were a huge inspiration for me to even share this to begin with.
      i should definitely give this one podcast episode a listen! it’s something i think about often.
      “ace” is just a term i use to shorten “asexuality”. i am a bit more comfortable with ace than “asexuality’ and i dont know why, lol. but that’s what i meant with being ace, being asexual.
      thank you sooooo much for reading, annie! it means a lot! 💞

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      • Nooo, thank you for writing this!
        Ooh, please tell me what you think about the podcast if you do :))
        Ohh, thank you for explaining. That’s so interesting! It’s weird always how powerful words are-not just in what they mean but also in how the look and sound.
        And again, thank YOU. Your words are always so kind.

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