top five characters i’d have a crush on in middle school

Hello, friends!

I miss writing a top 5 post! I feel like it’s been forever since I last wrote one, which isn’t exactly incorrect, as the last one was posted in October. It is one of my favorite posts to write, so I don’t know why I’ve been putting it off for so long. But IT’S BACK.

Today’s prompt is an interesting one, because it’s a very personal one. I never had a bunch of crushes growing up, despite being a Libra. And today I am able to understand these feelings better, but I stopped “crushing” on people in 2017 and have then become better at separating “thinking someone is aesthetically cute” and “wanting to date them”.

But, anyway, back in the day, I’d have this “specific type” of guy I found cute. Today, I can see through the bullshit, and I don’t think it’s even that great to have a “type“, because it stops you from getting to know other amazing people, but I digress. Through this post, I think you’ll be able to understand better what I mean.

FIVE. ADAM, FROM LOVE FROM A TO Z

First: his name is Adam, which is the most basic name I’ve ever seen. And apparently I had a thing for basic names in middle school.

Believe it or not, the two most long-lasting crushes I had shared the SAME NAME. I guess I was haunted by it or something. I’m pretty sure it was a past-life ghost playing tricks on me. That name would be Enzo, which it’s probably not as popular internationally, and if you ask me, shouldn’t be popular at all, because it’s not even a pretty name.

ANYWAY.

I’d probably have a crush on Adam because he has a really laid-back personality. He wasn’t the most “anything” on his group of friends – wasn’t the most attractive, or the most talkative, but there was still something captivating about him. The type of guy who could fade into the back, but actually has a really great personality once you give him a chance to show it.

FOUR. JOSH SANDERSON, FROM TO ALL THE BOYS I’VE LOVED BEFORE

Trust me: I am not proud of this.

I am a Peter Kavinsky stan first, human second. I love his character so much, but he’s definitely one that had to grow on me. When I first picked up the book, I labeled him as the high-school jock and that’s it, but then fell in love with him just like every other character in the story. But if we went to the same school or something, I’d still just label him as a jock. And I’m allergic to those.

Josh, though, was the easy choice. Growing up, best-friends to lovers was always my favorite trope, so Josh had the appeal from the beginning. He was also just your basic teenage boy, who was into comics and music, but could also be a true romantic when he wanted to.

Movie Josh then turned out to have the most attractive voice I ever heard after the voice for Frozen’s Hans, so there’s that too.

THREE. RISHI, FROM WHEN DIMPLE MET RISHI

I think I’d say “nerds are my weakness“, but looking back, I’ve never liked a single nerd kid in my life. But whenever I used to answer Buzzfeed Quizzes and one of the questions was: “what do you look for in a partner”, I’d always answer intelligence, so I think I’d crush on Rishi indeed.

Not only he was a smartass, but he was also into art, which I still think it’s a really cool trait. Like, if you’re into art, you’re already 10x cooler in my opinion. I am the worst at drawing, painting or anything that requires manual skills, so I’d be totally impressed at Rishi’s comics.

He just had the biggest “boy next door” vibes and I can totally see him being the “old guy” my 12 year old self would try to make eye contact with every day after school and consider that an achievement.

TWO. SOHRAB, FROM DARIUS THE GREAT IS NOT OKAY

Is it even possible not to instantly develop a crush on Sohrab? He was just the most adorable little thing.

I can see my old self crushing on Sohrab because I actually had a similar experience in middle school. There was this group of kids who were pretty much bullies and assholes, and one day, this kid just snapped at them for being mean, and defended his friend. It was a pretty bold move for a thirteen year old, so it earned my respect immediately.

It doesn’t exactly happen like that in Darius the Great, but Sohrab does defend Darius from some mean kids and that’s how they become closer.

Also: the most attractive trait one can have is being a good friend and Sohrab totally checks that box.

ONE. KAKERU NARUSE, FROM ORANGE

Kakeru is just literally the man from my 12 year old’s wet dreams. Okay, maybe that was a bit weird. But it’s TRUE!

I mean, the kid is shy, but carrying, loves playing soccer and it’s actually good at it, but isn’t an asshole about it? Absolutely UNHEARD OF.

It also means a lot to me that Kakeru had such a solid friend group, because as much as my past crushes were always the lonely kids, I think having a big friend group tells so much about who you are as a person. A man is know by the company he keeps, am I right?

Also: Kakeru’s fashion??????? We stan.

 

Okay, friends. Now, let’s share: any embarrassing crush stories you remember from middle school? Which characters do you think would fit your “idea of a perfect guy” from childhood? Let’s chat in the comments!

2019 goals recap & 2020 resolutions | i am nominated for the sunshine blogger award again and can’t shut up about rocketman

Hello, friends!

This is the last post I have for my 2019 overview series. We’ve already talked about my most disappointing reads of the year, my favorite books and now it’s time to wrap up the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year and set new ones for 2020.

I feel like it would be fitting to also, while I do that, answer the questions that the lovely Charlotte set up for me after nominating me for The Sunshine Blogger Award. (By the way, thank you so much Charlotte for the nomination!)

2019 GOALS: i’ve actually accomplished something for once?

When I started setting up my goals for the year, I told myself I would go as easy as possible, because of how hard 2018 had been and I didn’t want to pressure myself into unattainable goals. And out of every item on the list, I managed to accomplish almost every single one! *cries*

1. Read 40 books. ✔️ I actually read 68 books this year, so it was a total win.
2. Read more books in different formats. ✔️ I ended up listening to 29 audiobooks this year, which means I listened to more books than I read them. I didn’t think I’d listen to this many audiobooks this year, but I’m glad it worked out this way! They’re really convenient and awesome and I truly fell in love. As for e-books/web comics, I definitely wish I’d read more, but I found out that I’m not as productive when reading digitally, because since I do not owe an e-reader, I end up reading on my phone, which can be very distracting.
3. Stay away from negativity. ✔️ When I wrote this goal, I wanted to refrain from reading negative comments and looking for drama online and even if I wasn’t able to stay away from it *completely* (I am guilty of spending 40min on that Tati video dissing James Charles), it was an improvement from 2018, so I consider it a success.
4. Keep around only people who put as much effort as you do. ✔️ I feel like if there was a lesson learned this 2019, was this. Since I graduated, I parted ways with a lot of my high school friends, but there were definitely a few I wanted to stay in touch with. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen with all of them, and I realized that it is okay to let go, especially when others do not put as much effort as I do.
5. Stay true to who you are.✔️ If I’m being honest, I feel like this one was hard to do. There were definitely moments this year in which I found myself becoming a different type of person (more negative, passive-aggressive, always lowkey mean) but I’m glad I was able to notice it quickly and change my behavior.
6. Spend less time on social media. ✖️ Honestly, I’m glad that my past self already knew this wasn’t going to happen. I definitely *tried*, though. I’d always say: oh, my screen time for this week was 5h? Okay, I’ll start trying to minimize that next week. Next week. Next week. And next week never came. Oh, well. Maybe next year.
7. Write more! Journal more! Believe on my own writing!✖️✔️ I gave up on my WIP pretty quickly, but I have been journaling a lot more this year (and even shared some of my favorite entries), so I think this was partly successful, but it is one goal I want to carry on through 2020.

 

2019 HIGHLIGHTS: i’ve done other things apart from reading

Okay, not much, though. Reading has taken up a lot more space in my life this year, which I am so thankful for. Before we get to the other highlights, I’ll just quickly answer some reading questions but only with books I’ve read in 2019:

1. What book, if any, would you most love to see a prequel of?

I feel like it would be really nice to have a prequel on Crooked Kingdom. I’m sure most people are screaming right now READ THE GRISHA TRILOGY!!! but that’s not entirely what I mean. I think it would be nice to see characters from Ketterdam specifically and how that part of the world looked like before Kaz and the Dregs.

2. What’s your favourite lesser known, or talked about, book?

Girls on the Verge is a book that, sadly, I haven’t heard many people talk about. Maybe because it is a slightly controversial topic (which shouldn’t be, by the way), but the book will follow our main character’s ride in order to get an abortion. It was really powerful, touching and also infuriating at times, and I really wish more people would read it.

3. Which fictional character do you most admire?

I think admiration is a really strong word, but I have to give it up for Evelyn Hugo. Even though I did not love this book as much as the rest of the bookish community, I did appreciate Evelyn Hugo a lot as character. She was a true badass, who made a lot of mistakes, but was still strong enough to stand up for them. I feel like she could go through everything.

4. What generally beloved character gets under your skin?

Can I answer Kaz Brekker AGAIN? Or maybe Eliza, from Eliza and Her Monsters, even though I feel bad for talking so many negative things about this book since I know it’s loved by so many here, lol.

Now, for other things I loved in 2019, that do not involve books for once.

5. What’s your favourite film that was released in 2019?

rocketman

There’s no other answer for this besides Rocketman. I spend the entire year obsessing over this movie, and I simply can not stop. This was so powerful and creative and beautiful and made me feel *all the things*. I’d never felt so instantly captivated by a movie in a long time, especially one in which I couldn’t relate to much.

Looking at Elton John’s life (this is Elton’s biopic, btw, in case you haven’t heard me or anyone else scream about it), I can’t say it’s particularly relatable. I’m not gay, I have never been involved with drugs or know anyone who has, I am not a musician. So, you could say there was technically nothing in this story for me, right? But this movie was so brilliant that I truly felt like I was going through every single thing, along with these characters, and I am SO glad I’ve watched it.

stranger things and other mysteries

I only started watching Stranger Things this year, much later than most people, I know. But despise everything, I’m really glad I did. Not only because I found out a new fictional boyfriend (Jonathan Byers, thank you very much), but also because it helped me solidify teenage mysteries as my *favorite* genre of shows. (I’m pretty sure you can’t call this a genre. It’s more like a trope. Mystery but add teenagers as protagonists, lol). That’s why I also really enjoyed The Society, season 2 of Elite, season 2 of The End of the F***ing World, etc.

wallows. taylor swift too, but mostly wallows.

When my Spotify Wrapped came around, I was definitely not surprised to see Wallows as one of my most played artists of the year. I only found out about the band halfway through 2019 and I’m so, so, so glad that I did. They’re such a great band, whose lyrics really mean a lot to me. It’s kinda funny, because when the members are talking about their song writing process, they always say they didn’t mean much with that line and just used it because they thought sounded good, but they always end up being so thought-provoking for me. I think it really is just an effortless thing for geniuses.

6. If you could meet anyone, past or present, who would it be and why?

Taylor Swift. Who also released a new album, which no one is surprised that I loved this much. I also got tickets to watch her next year, and I’m totally not freaking out about that.

(finally) 2020 GOALS: setting myself up for failure

7. What are you goals for 2020?

Well, friends, here they are:

1. Read 50 books. This is probably the highest any of my Goodreads goals has ever been, so I’m probably setting myself up for failure here, but I’ll try anyway! I read almost 70 this year, so I should be able to do it, right? *crosses fingers*
2. Learn how to drive. This is probably the scariest of all the goals in this list, if I’m being honest. The legal age to start driving in Brazil is 18, so I technically could’ve started lessons a year ago, but I’ve always been wayyyy too scared. However, I do know it is the responsible thing to do, so I’ll try no matter what.
3. Believe in my dreams and work towards them. Honestly, I’ve never had long-term goals of things I wanted to achieve, or dreams to work towards. I think the only one was getting into university, which I did, but now I feel like it’s time to give bigger steps and truly believe that I am capable of doing the things I want to do, instead of just planning them.
4. Find a blogging schedule. (What’s one piece of advice that you think all new bloggers should know?) Having a blogging schedule is hard. But so important. It can be very overwhelming to make sure you’re giving yourself enough time to read, blog, interact with others, and still have a life and other responsabilities. I really hope that in 2020 I find better balance to keep up with everything.
5. Do not give up on writing. Or anything, for that matter. Fun fact about me: I always give up, whenever things get hard or overwhelming. If I could, I would’ve given up school a long time ago. I simply have the hardest time comitting to things, especially hobbies, such as blogging, writing, etc. But I’ll really, really try to finish everything I start in 2020. (Watch me fail that by week 2). I’ll never learn how to overcome obstacles if I give up at the first.

If you’ve reached the end of this massive post, let’s chat: What’s your favorite thing you did in 2020? Favorite movie/music artist you found out? And what are your resolutions for the new year? (Do you know how to drive and are you scared of learning too?) Let’s chat in the comments!

 

my favorite books of 2019!

Hello, friends!

It’s finally the best time of the year: sharing my favorite books I’ve read. I read a lot, surprisingly, and yet I didn’t even have that many books to talk about. I was able to find a list of ten that I’m really invested in and that I have so much to talk about, so maybe it is for the best I don’t have so many, otherwise this post will last forever, lol.

Let’s go!

FIRST READ OF 2019

It’s so crazy to think that my first read of 2019 actually turned out to be one my favorites of the year. I’ve talked a lot about American Panda already, but this book was such a delightful ride. Mei, our main character, is struggling with being her own self in front of her very traditional Taiwanese parents. She’s in her first year of MIT, studying to be a doctor, even though her passion couldn’t be further from anything biology related.

There’s so much I loved about this book. First, Gloria Chao’s realistic writing, that had all the romantic moments but in ways that could happen in real life too; then, the complex relationships. Mei loved and respected her parents and was grateful for their sacrifices, but still felt the need to be her own self, which would never meet her parents’ expectations. It was very heartbreaking following her struggles and how alone she felt, but to me, it’s what made the whole ride even more beautiful and rewarding.

 

MY FIRST CO-WRITTEN READ

All American Boys was the first book I ever read that was written by two authors. Even though the first couple of chapters were really hard to get through, I was incredibly invested by the end. In this dual perspective novel, we follow Quinn and Rashad, and how their stories intertwine over police brutality, fear and doing what’s right.

I think the big lesson of this story – to speak up, even when it’s hard – was so incredibly powerful. The characters had a lot of layers, even the side characters, and Rashad’s father especially was one that hit me the hardest. The dual perspective added a lot to the story too, because it was so great seeing both the privilege that made both of these characters different, but also all the other aspects of their lives that made them so much alike. I really think this is one that deserves more hype.

 

BEST RE-READ

For 2019, I had the goal to re-read at least one book a month, which I accomplished. I have such a fun time re-visiting stories I love and reconnecting with characters that I’d missed. There were some books I already expected to love, and did; and others that I didn’t feel the same way after the re-read. The only one that I truly grew to like even *more* the second time around was The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue.

I remembered this book being hilarious, but I was taken aback by how sad it could be at times. Monty, our protagonist, is such a phenomenal character. In this journey he takes around Europe with his best friend and sister, and through all their crazy adventures with royalty, pirates and sinking islands, he grows so much and following such growth was remarkable. He not only learns and understands his own privilege, but also recognizes himself as someone worthy of love and affection, in ways that he’d never had before. It was heartbreaking to see his trauma, but also so heart-warming to see him find love. (And also incredibly hilarious to see his meltdowns over the most ridiculous things).

 

MOST SURPRISING READ

I think, to a certain degree, all the books I have in this list were books that I already expected to really, really like. Either because they had some of my favorite tropes or because they were really hyped and recommended over and over again. But prior to picking up Heretics Anonymous, I hadn’t even heard the most flattering stuff, but decided to read anyway, since the premise sounded so interesting.

And the payoff was incredible. Here, we follow our main character Michael, an atheist going to a catholic school, and the friends he makes there – a group called Heretics Anonymous -, that just like him, aren’t the biggest believers, and they form a very interesting friendship. The biggest take for this book, in my opinion, is how Katie Henry was able to both address that Michael was incredibly privileged being a white, straight, cis boy – especially in contrast to his very diverse group of friends -, and also recognize that his problems and struggles are all still very valid.

The dialogues were hilarious, the characters were so interesting and I was finally able to read about a South-American character, Lucy, who was our 10/10 love interest. Basically: this was so great I can’t believe no one else talks about it.

 

DESERVING OF ALL THE HYPE

Vicious is seriously a book I’ve been wanting to read since I found out BookTube in early 2014. Since then, I had never seen anyone giving this book any less than 4/5 stars. And when I finally got the chance to acquire a copy while in NYC last December and then to finally read it, this April, I totally comprehend all the people who *love* this book.

V.E. Schwab created such an intricate plot, that jumps into timelines, while following this villanous story that start out as a simple academic research and turns into an intense chase. Because of how the book is told, you end up going through it like finding different pieces to complete a puzzle and I absolutely love how invested I was in figuring out exactly what led these characters to where they were.

I really think this was the most outstanding writing I read this year and I really wish this could get turned into a Netflix show. It would be so amazing.

 

BY MY FAVORITE AUTHOR

It is official: Nic Stone is one of my favorite female authors of all times. This year, I read two books by her, and though the first one was bittersweet, it just showed me how great her writing is and Jackpot completely solidified that. I will never shut up about how more people need to read her books, because her work is truly fantastic.

In this book, we follow Rico and Zan, who despise their *very* different financial backgrounds, team up to find a missing lotto ticket. And this book delivers everything I expected: hilarious dialogues, fantastic & layered characters and deep discussions on very serious topics. This book explores privilege, money and race, while also being fun and entertaining. It truly is the best of both worlds.

 

MADE ME CRY THE MOST

I don’t really cry a lot with books, so whenever I find a novel that can bring these much tears, I know it is a keeper. That was Far From the Tree – a three-perspective novel about three siblings finding each other at the age of 16 and each of their struggles with family, love and identity.

There’s so much that this book discusses that this description I just gave barely scratches the surface. Even though there were characters and storylines I didn’t connect as much with (cof cof Maya cof cof), I still have such fond memories of my time reading this. Robin Benway creates fantastic family dynamics – the type that will bring tears to your eyes within two seconds – and I wanted so bad to just jump into this book and hug all of these characters so hard.

 

MOST RELATABLE

I don’t think I’ll ever shut up about Radio Silence, because just like Vicious, it was one of those books I had on my TBR for ages and as soon as I started it, I realized why everyone raves about it. But I was surprised to see how much I would actually relate to these characters.

While Radio Silence mostly focuses on a podcast and follows a girl who’s obsessed with it, I feel like the word “podcast” could’ve been replaced by book series or TV show and it would’ve been all about me. I also can’t tell you which character I relate the most with, because both were so well written and I could see myself in both Frances’ self-pressure to be perfect and in Aled’s way of using fiction to cope with his own feelings.

This was also so incredibly diverse and I am so glad that I picked this up, because it was truly so awesome being able to see myself in such phenomenal characters too.

 

A NEW FOUND FORMAT

At the beginning of the year, one of my goals was to explore different formats: try more e-books and, especially, audiobooks. And I fell in love with audiobooks – hence why most of the pictures you’re seeing in this post aren’t of physical books, because I listened to most of them. But the best audiobook I listened all year was definitely Me!

If you’ve read any of my posts before, then you probably know I’ve been obsessed with the movie Rocketman and it has become my favorite movie of all times. And so when I decided to pick up Elton John’s autobiography, Me!, I knew it was going to be a more developed and personal version of the movie and it totally delivered.

But what I loved the most was the narration – done by Taron Egerton, who plays Elton in the movie. It made me feel like I was going through everything along with the characters, with the raw emotion during the sad parts, the chuckles during the hilarious parts and even some frustrated sighs at any mention of Elton’s mom. Even the change of accents was so natural! I really didn’t think any audiobook experience could be this good.

 

BEST BOOK OF 2019

I read a lot of amazing books this year, but the one that had the most long-lasting impact on me was Birthday, by Meredith Russo. In this dual-perspective novel, we follow the shared birthday of our two main characters over the years and their amazing friendship.

I didn’t think any book would make me feel this much and I truly can not remember the last time I was this invested by a contemporary pairing. Eric and Morgan are the best-friends-to-lovers story that I’ve always wanted, because while the romance can be a big part of this novel and one I was truly immersed in, they’re also amazing characters on their own.

This book is very much about: facing who you truly are, even when the world around you is cruel; feelings that can’t be explained but that make so much sense; people who change and who are worth fighting for. I loved every aspect of it, from the writing, to the dialogues, to the relationships. If you’re going to take anything from this immense post, take this: please, read this book.

 

That’s it, friends! Now, it’s your turn: what is the best book you read in 2019? Any favorite re-reads? Best pairing you read about and any genre did you find out about only this year? Most surprising read? Let’s discuss in the comments!

 

the disappointing reads of 2019!

Hello, friends!

Today, we’re here to finally talk about the most disappointing reads of 2019. As much as I love hyping up reads, I am also always here for some rant. These are some of the most entertaining posts to read at this time of the year, plus I’m a Grinch, so I felt like it would be fitting to post this while everyone else is enjoying Christmas time.

But, since I am the Grinch, I am also really into Christmas music. However, Christmas music is just the worst to make a negative post around, because everything is holly and jolly and nice. So, instead of comparing my disappointing reads to Christmas tracks, we’ll be going for other music that it’s still just as lovely.

Hope you enjoy taking a break from Mariah Carey to enjoy this post to its fullest!

I was cheated by you, and I think you know when. So I made up my mind, it must come to an end. – Mamma Mia, by ABBA

I guess there hasn’t been a bigger cheating since The Foxhole Court, which I read earlier this year. At first, I thought it was just a weak start to a book and I’ll get more of it once I continued reading. But no. And I finished this read infuriated by the lack of plot and the fact all the characters sounded and looked exactly the same.

And the truth is, considering I’m a Mamma Mia hoe at my core, I’m probably going to say “here we go again” and pick up the second book in this trilogy. There’s still hope that my ending is as happy as Donna‘s, but I guess not every book can be a Pierce Brosnan.

This is not what I want; this is not what I’d planned. – Stick to the Status Quo, High School Musical Cast

You know when you pick up a book and you think you had this premise figured it out? It sounds amazing, just like something you’d enjoy. It ticks all your boxes and you pick up thinking you know exactly what you’ll get from it. And then nothing happens like you’d planned.

Yes, I felt just as betrayed as Sharpay after reading Red, White & Royal Blue. I know, this is probably one of the most loved releases of the year, but I really didn’t click with it. Again, the premise sounded amazing, but the book took forever to happen – the chapters were so long and the paragraphs were humongous. It felt like I was reading and reading and never moving on.

Plus, I really didn’t connect with any of the characters and some scenes just really felt like a low-budget Netflix rom-com. (Like, that one scene one of the characters serenades the other with Your Song, by Elton John? Jesus Christ, the corny-ness.)

We could’ve had it all, rolling in the deep. – Rolling in the Deep, by Adele

The best way I could describe Wayward Son is wasted potential. We literally could’ve had so much here: so much more of the characters – talking without being interrupted -, so much development of the magical world, so much more closure. And, yet, we had 350 pages of nothing.

The thing that makes me the most mad about this book is that I legit thought I had this plot figured out. When I re-read Carry On back in August, I was coming up with all these headcanons about what was going to happen in Wayward Son, what they could give us now that these characters were in America. And yet, all we had was vampire non-sense.

Queue the dramatic song.

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. – The Scientist, Coldplay

When I picked up Eliza & Her Monsters, I truly expected to like the characters from the second I started reading it. I don’t know why, but since everyone and their moms adore this book, I just thought it would be one of those that you fall in love during the first chapters.

But it wasn’t. At all. And maybe that was just an unrealistic expectation or maybe it was indeed that Eliza was extremely unlikeable and constantly complaining. Not to mention the story inside the story – Monstrous Sea – was so poorly explained and gave me zero feels, along with the borderline abusive romantic behavior by the end of it.

Again, I really wish someone could’ve warned me that this is a story you have to warm up to and be open to character development, but I really thought it was going to be much easier to get through it than it was.

Or maybe this thing was a masterpiece, ‘till you tore it all up. – All Too Well, by Taylor Swift

Ok, I even feel kinda bad associating this song to this book, because it wasn’t even that bad. It certainly didn’t deserve a song as mad and full of heartbreak and pain as All Too Well, but this was certainly a case of a perfect book being ruined by a really bad ending.

Opposite of Always has a lot of amazing things going for it – the writing is great, the dialogues are hilarious, there’s A+ family and friendships and it’s super diverse as well -, but the ending was a mess. I felt like all the decisions the characters made by the last 20% were super annoying and OOC, in addition to the fact the story wrapped up in the weirdest possible way and gave us a really unrelatable life lesson out of it.

It might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye – Bye Bye Bye, ‘NSync

Considering how much I loved American Panda by Gloria Chao, it is kinda crazy to think that there’s a book by her in this list. And I still stand by the fact Chao’s writing is phenomenal – it’s realistic, while still being romantic and giving the taste that I love about fiction. But Our Wayward Fate was just not it, man.

I was a true fool, player in this game for two. First, because this book had one of my least-favorite romantic tropes: insta-love, then, the development of our main character that felt so rushed. Finally, it just felt like the book was trying to do too much in not enough time, which made me so frustrated.

You had your chance, you blew it, out of sight, out of mind. Shut your mouth, I just can’t take it again – Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson

I apologize, but I just needed the angriest song I could get and of course it had to be Miss Kelly Clarkson to deliver. This is my least-favorite book of 2019, and I thought about not even including it, since I technically DNF-ed it, but it wouldn’t be accurate to my year.

I never DNF books, ever. Even if I put a book down, I always have the intentions of getting back to it – sometimes it doesn’t happen like that, but still. However, with The Hating Game, I put it down and could’ve set it on fire if I wasn’t reading it on my phone.

The writing was so weird – like, the girl could’ve just said “I touched his arm”, but instead she’d prefer to put it as: “I leaned in, my fingertips slowly brushing his muscular forearm, grazing so slowly through the hairs there” and I was just exhausted by page 2 -, the characters were cardboard cutouts of Judy from Zootopia and the guy from The DUFF and there was, no joke here, a line that literally went: “If you were mine for one night, you wouldn’t be able to walk afterwards”, which made me thraumatized for life.

I read 56% of it and got one kiss out of it, which is the most infuriating part of all. Basically: Sally Thorne and I are officially broken up and our relationship didn’t even last, which just makes the use of Since U Been Gone even funnier to me.

Okay, friends: now it’s your turn. If you had to choose one song to define your least-favorite/most disappointing read of the year, what would it be? Let’s chat in the comments!

Hope you’re having a wonderful Christmas!

 

 

 

 

my one year blog anniversary!

Hello, friends!

This is a really exciting post, because officially a year ago today, I was posting my first blog post on THE BOOKISH SKIES. It feels kinda surreal, because I don’t feel like I’ve been posting for this long at all. At the same time, I have a lot that I’m thankful and regretful for and so it truly feels like a while.

I wish I could host a more exciting one year anniversary post, but this is just going to be a lot of thoughts and rambles, so I apologize in advance.

THE BOOKISH SKIES is not my first blog, but it is the one I’m most confident in. A couple of you probably remember my Tumblr blog days, but it’s here where I feel the most comfortable and where I started to connect with most of you.

Here, I’ve surpassed 100 followers (unfortunately, the only stat recap you’ll see in this post, not only because I do not care that much about stats but also because I don’t know where to see this in WordPress lol), I’ve connected with people from all over the world, I’ve started a feature to talk about my own country, I’ve read over 50 books, completing my Goodreads goal for the first year without lowering it halfway through the year.

REWIND TO MY FIRST POST

I won’t link you to it, because it’s a bit embarrassing, but I talked about a few things there that have definitely changed.

• I wasn’t happy with my layout. And while I’m still not 100% satisfied with it, I like my current layout a lot more than my old one. It fits my personal aesthetic a lot better, and I feel like I can be more creative with it. I’d still LOVE to be able to change the theme colors, but it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.
• I’d just graduated from high school. Even though it’s been a full year, it truly feels like I just graduated. I think it’s because I’m still a kid at core and haven’t aged at all since 2015, which is a huge problem, considering I’ll soon be 20 and have no idea of adulthood whatsoever, lol.
• I didn’t know I’d been accepted into my dream college. By the time I wrote that post, I had yet to complete the second step in my college entrance exams and I really didn’t know where I was going! It sounds exciting, but I was pretty anxious at the time and barely sleeping. I am so happy everything turned out great!
• I’d read only 18 books. I spent the entire year of 2018 mostly watching movies and read only 18 books. And I am so, so proud of myself for saying that for 2019, I’ve actually read 60+ books. It’s a really good feeling, because reading is a huge passion of mine and I love the person I am when I am reading. During 2018, I felt so disconnected of myself and all my hobbies looked like burdens. It’s really good to be reconnected with my favorite thing in the world.

THE BEST PART OF THE LAST YEAR

• I read more. I’m sorry to repeat myself, but this is definitely the best part about the past year. I’m so glad I’ve read so much. I am so glad I’ve listened to so much music. I’m so glad I can *tell* what has happened in each month, because I’m actually living and not just going through motions like I was throughout 2018. It’s a really, really good feeling.
• I’ve met so many amazing people. I am so, so, so glad for all the people I met through book blogging. Y’all are the nicest community I have ever met. I specifically want to thank Marta, Sophie, Olivia, Marie and Caitlin, for all their thoughtful and nice comments who have made me smile and warmed my heart through rough patches. But not only them, truly. Every single one of you who take the time to read my posts and comment: I couldn’t be more thankful. I truly do not deserve y’all.
• I’ve been inspired by so many bloggers. The best part about blogging to me is how much I learn from what you all have to say too. Annie, Lauren, Ngoc, Taasia are just a few of the bloggers I have met here that have either driven me to buy a new book, listen to a new song or just inspired me with their words and intelligent posts.

LOOKING FORWARD

I really hope to continue blogging for a long time. There’s a lot that I don’t know about the future – I feel like those years when you’re walking to adulthood are always so unpredictable, because there’s literally no stability to my life whatsoever lol -, but I really, really hope I can find more balance to continue blogging.

I really want to figure out a better schedule for the new year, so I can be more consistent in both posting and blog hopping. I don’t have a lot of goals besides that, tbh. Of course it will be nice to grow my following, but I am satisfied with what I have and am not aiming towards any number. I also don’t dream of getting ARCs or participating in book tours or anything like that. My only goal is to be a better blogger & reader, in the best of my ability.

For anyone that has read any of my posts in the past year: thank you so much. I am really happy with everything I’ve achieved and hope to continue growing with you guys! 💛

what i’ve been watching recently #2

Hello, friends!

It hasn’t even been that long since my recently watched, but I actually fell in love with a couple more shows that I needed to talk about before this would turn into too much of a big post.

Since I haven’t been watching much lately, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to wrap it up before the new year. Let’s get started!

RIVERDALE (S3)

Trust me: I am more than aware of all the things that make Riverdale a really bad show. But I’m way too invested on it at this point to stop, despise how much it makes me cringe. Season 3 dropped out on NETFLIX Brazil this October and, of course, I watched the whole thing in a matter of days.

This Season 3 was entertaining, though truly non-sensical. I’ll never be able to wrap my mind around the fact a 16 year old owes a bar and a diner. Or that they’re so intimidating for almost 50 year old adults. Most of the plot centers around this roleplay game like Dungeons and Dragons and I’m not familiarized with this type of game at all, so I was just confused most of the time.

Still, this season gave us new layers of some of the characters. I really liked seeing a darker Archie, though he remains my least-favorite character. Jughead’s family dynamic added 50+ years into my life spam – it was beautifully complicated. Betty was also doing a lot of investigating on her own and I’m always happy to see her standing up for herself as one of my favorite characters.

My favorite episode was the flashback one, where we follow the parents’ storylines. I also realized how much I adore Fred Andrews and I’m sad already thinking about the next seasons without him. This wasn’t the best thing I’ve watched, but it’s Riverdale, so it always makes me low-key happy.

WTOCK (S1~S3)

WTFOCK is the Belgium remake of one of my favorite shows ever, SKAM. I’ve never watched all seasons of any remake before, but this version really grabbed my attention. After watching some fan made videos of Zoe and Senne (the Belgium version of Nora and William), I decided to watch the whole thing. And I really love it.

I didn’t care that much about season 1, and the acting didn’t help at all. Season 2 was definitely an improvement. The chemistry between the characters is undeniable and I felt like all the changes that were made to the plot were really great. They still kept it pretty close to the original, but added new layers to the characters and deepened the relationships, which I loved.

Senne is my favorite character, because he’s just really charming and also unaware of what toxic masculinity means. (William wishes). I am currently watching S3 and I also love Robbe – he’s such a sweetheart and I’ve been feeling every single one of his emotions with him, which has been a powerful ride.

Season 3 is currently airing and I’m really into all the changes that they’ve made to the OG storyline. It is also my first time watching any SKAM remake live and it’s been a really intense experience – waiting for each clip to drop it’s such an excrutiating wait!

THE END OF THE F***ING WORLD (S2)

So, this was… interesting.

When I watched the first season of this show, I thought it was pretty freaking weird. I really did not like the characters and felt like it was trying to be edgy but ultimately, just being cringe-y. I loved the side characters, though. The lesbian cops were my favorites and I could’ve watched two more seasons of just them.

When I heard a season 2 was dropping, though, I decided to give it another shot and I definitely enjoyed it better than the first. I felt the relationship between James and Alyssa a lot more this time around and I simply loved James. He was a lot more talkative, open and worried this season and just showed more emotion, which definitely helped in making me believe that he was an actual character and not a cardboard cutout.

I don’t know how great this was though, representation-wise. I still have to read more own voices reviews on it, but it was borderline problematic how they adressed Bonnie’s character, especially since she was the only non-white protagonist in the show.

Even if you didn’t like season 1, I would still consider giving it a shot, since it’s such a short and fast-paced series anyway.

Have you guys watched any of these show? If you’re a fan of SKAM, what’s your favorite remake? Do you have any other shows to recommend to me? Let’s chat in the comments!

 

monthly wrap up: november, ’19

Hello, friends!

School has essentially been kicking me in the ass, so I apologize for being so absent. As I predicted, the end of the semester has been incredibly busy, but I’ll try my best to do some blog hopping in the next week and finally catch up on all the posts I missed during November. I’m still terrible at actually coming up with a decent schedule, but oh well.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Shawn Mendes’ concert! The concert is actually happening today – or the day this post is going up -, so obviously I can’t tell you my impressions. But, I’m so excited! I’ve been into Shawn Mendes since Vine days and this is my first time watching him live. My sister and my mom are both going with me and I’m anticipating an amazing night. I’ll definitely let you guys know how it went later!
• Gallavich is back. This is probably the only highlight in my incredibly busy month, but Gallavich is my favorite ship ever – Ian & Mickey, from Shameless US. They’ve been in a back and forth relationship since forever and since the actors had left the show, I had no more hope of ever seeing them in canon again. But they’re back for season 10 and I’m SO HAPPY. So far, the episodes have been hilarious, but I’m definitely expecting some angst. I don’t care, though. I missed them so much!

look at my beautiful babies *-*

BOOKS I READ

★★★☆☆

First book completed in November was Our Wayward Fate, by Gloria Chao. Gloria Chao’s debut, American Panda, is one of my favorite reads of the year, so when I saw she was coming out with a book on late October, I knew I had to pick it up immediately. I did and it was… well, not what I expected. Even though I appreciate how this book discussed being a person of color in a predominantly white city, family secrets and Chinese folktales, I really, really, really hated the romance. It was so insta-love-y it made me cringe. They did not communicate enough to share such deep feelings for each other, in my opinion. I feel like the book tried to do so much, especially in regards to Ali’s development, but it didn’t have enough time for it, so it was incredibly rushed. I still think it’s a worthwhile read, because it had some great elements. I liked Ali as a protagonist, I love how realistic Gloria Chao’s writing style is, and the way the story mirrored “The Butterfly Lovers” was really interesting, but the romance was just a no for me.

 

★★★★☆

I also finished A Very Large Expanse of Sea, by Tahereh Mafi this month and I’m so glad I did. It was in my 2019 TBR, so I barely made it before the end of the year, lol. This book was a lot. I read it in two days and it was a really intense experience, mostly because of the topics it dealt with. Shirin, our protagonist, is a Muslim teenager, living in a predominantly white city, a year after 9/11. It was for sure heartbreaking to see the type of shit she had to deal with regularly. But then she meets this boy, Ocean, and I was also feeling *all the feels* with their romance. If you don’t like romance, I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you do, you’ll have a really good time with it. While it bothered me a little bit that the characters knew so little about each other before they were confessing, I couldn’t deny the chemistry between them. Ocean was a really great character, even if not the most realistic teenage boy I’ve ever read about. (I was reading To All the Boys at the same time and I couldn’t help compare him to Peter Kavinsky, and I definitely feel like Peter was a better representation of what teenage boys actually sound like). It really didn’t matter that much, because I loved these characters nonetheless and felt really connected to them by the end of the journey.

 

★★★★★

My re-read for the month was To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before and how come this book is always amazing, no matter how many times I re-read it? It’s my third time reading it and I am always in love. I think what grips the most is how realistic I find it to be. I relate to Lara Jean so much as a character, albeit most people call her immature. I actually think she’s one of the most accurate representations of a 15-year-old I’ve ever read about. She makes mistakes, she changes her mind quickly, she’s still holding on to middle-school memories and she definitely doesn’t understand the meaning of *falling in love*, but that’s what you do when you’re a teenager. As I mentioned above, I also feel like Peter K. is such a great representation of a teenage boy. He’s annoying and says so many eye-rolling things, but I absolutely adore him nonetheless. I had to actually stop myself from reaching out to the rest of the trilogy and re-reading them immediately. This was amazing – as expected.

 

★★★☆☆

Then, I picked up As Many Nows as I Can Get out of a total whim. I saw they had the audiobook available on Scribd, so I just got it. Even though I’ve finished the book already, I can’t really tell you what it is about. It’s written in a non-linear way, so you have a bunch of flashbacks and flashforwards, and centers around our two protagonists, Scarlett and David, and their whirlwind romance. I’d definitely check out an in-depth trigger warning list, but from the get go, it will follow drug use, addiction, teenage pregnancy and so many hard-hitting topics. This is not a book I’d recommend to everyone, but it was such an interesting read. I liked reading from a different perspective, as I feel like most protagonists I read about are all sort of introverts, bookworms or fandom-people, and Scarlett and David were both party animals and a bit reckless. But, still, I feel like I would’ve enjoyed this so much more if I just cared more for the characters. Scarlett was fine, even though she wasn’t the most realistic one ever. David, on the other hand, had little to no personality and I just couldn’t really feel for them or their relationship because of that.

 

★★★★☆

I also picked up the recent novella, The Gentleman’s Guide to Getting Lucky by Mackenzi Lee. This is a companion for The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue and I picked it up as soon as it was released, because I love Monty too much and can’t get enough of him. This was hilarious – as expected from Monty Montague, but I didn’t like the way it ended. Being such a short novella, there’s not much to say without spoiling it, but it follows Monty and Percy and their road to ~intimacy~. Lol. I just wanted things to wrap up differently, but it was still adorable and I was gushing and laughing the entire time.

 

★★★★★

I also finally read Radio Silence, by Alice Oseman. I feel like I’ve been meaning to read this since forever, and I’m so happy it finally happened. I related so much to our main character Frances, I felt like the book was written about me. I loved how she felt like she couldn’t be herself around her school friends, because that’s how I feel most of the time; I loved her friendship with Aled, because I myself also have a best friend who is a boy and who will forever just be my best friend and nothing more; I loved her relationship with her mom, as I’m super close to mine too. I also related a lot to Aled, when feeling out of place, not knowing how to express his feelings and using fiction to cope with his own reality. I really feel like everyone I know loves this book and I can totally see why. I got close to tears numerous times, because these characters were just going through *so much* and I wanted to hug them both so bad. Still, Alice Oseman addressed the privilege in their problems on page so well. Basically: this was everything I wanted and more. Thank you for everyone who screamed I should read this.

ON THE BLOG

I was a failure and didn’t blog almost at all in November. *SHAME*. I’ll be better about it, though, I swear. It’s just life was too much this month.

• Some of my favorite journal entries
• DISCUSSION: Themed Reads

MONTHLY PLAYLIST

My playlist for November is one of my favorite ones I’ve done the whole year. There are a couple musicals, some of my favorite artists and other random songs I love. Also, I have to thank Sophie for recommending me Greyson Chance. I finally listened to his recent stuff and I’m obsessed. I had to literally stop myself from adding his entire album to my playlist, lol. If you have any more artists to recommend, please let me know in the comments! I love checking you guys’ recommendations!

LOOKING FORWARD

December is an exciting month, because I have very ambitious reading plans, which include reading around eight books. Lol. Wish me luck!

The end of the year season is not my favorite; I pretty much hate Christmas, New Years and all the traditions that come with it, but I am anticipating being officially done with classes and chilling at home most of the time.

 

How was your guys’ November? What books have you picked up recently that surprised you positively? Any other highlights for the month? Let’s chat in the comments!

some of my favorite journal entries

Hello, friends!

This is going to be a very different post and definitely my most personal to this date. I know you guys are probably looking for bookish content, but life has been super messy and busy lately, so I wanted to just quickly sit down and write this post.

I was inspired to write this by Annie, from Zoelogist, whose posts I absolutely adore. She’s so smart and all her posts are really thought-provoking. Even though she has never written about her journal entries, I feel like this is the type of post she would’ve shared. I will never be as eloquent as she is, but still, I wanted to try.

I started journaling for real only recently. It was one of my 2019 resolutions to write more. At the beginning of the year, I had this journal to documment all the books and movies I read, but soon I realized it would be too time-consuming, since I was reading and watching so much.

I dropped it and only got back to journaling now. It is the most personal type of journaling I’ve ever done, and it’s been such a great journey. I feel like, before, I’d have these really deep thoughts and I’d dismiss them quickly, but now I actually sit with them for a while longer and try to put them into words.

I’m journaling in English, for obvious reasons, but also because I find that I think in English most of the time these days. My friends probably think I’m crazy.

But yeah, there you go, some of my favorite parts of the journal entries I’ve written so far (because sometimes I actually can be smart and write stuff I’m proud of):

“I feel like most of the time I’m just existing on my own private world and hoping desperately for someone to bust down the walls.”

“I’ll never have prom or homecoming or football games or school plays. I’m getting older by the minute and Halloween parties and school dances are all part of a dream inspired off of Disney shows and YA books that will never come true. And even though it’s been 10 months since I left high school, it feels like only now I can come to terms with it. It’s hard giving up on something you never had to begin with.”

“At what point do you go from a ‘I-think’ teenager to a ‘I-know’ adult?”

“Basically: being ace also sucks and we’re not even free to complain about it because ‘you’re not being beat up on the streets over it’.”

“Revisiting old journals, I realized this may be the first time I am writing about myself and not my idols or other celebrities. My autobiography will start at the age of 19.”

“I am the world’s most self-depreciating narcissist. In fact, I think there’s something inherently narcissistic about self hate”.

If you’ve read this far: do you journal? If not, did you keep a diary when you were younger? Do you like looking back on it or it’s too cringe-y? What did you write about? Let’s chat in the comments!

 

in which i discuss themed reads

Hello, friends!

It’s been long overdue since I last wrote a discussion post. I feel like these are the most challenging posts for me to write, along with reviews. They just eat up my last brain cells and I still never find they’re good enough. But, anyway!

I wanted to discuss the idea of doing “themed reads” aka reading only books under a certan theme for a month. I’ve tried these before and I wanted to argue some of the pros and cons.

I really love watching YouTube and one of my favorite Booktubers, Adriana from Perpetual Pages, does this quite often. For Black History Month, for example, they only read titles by black authors; or during Women’s History Month, they only read by female authors.

I’ve always thought this idea was really interesting and it would be a great motivation to read more diversely. It’s also fun, because it allows me to read from different genres, such as fantasy, romance or YA contemporary, as long as it fits under the theme.

I know a lot of read-a-thons do that, but I think there’s some type of pressure in read-a-thons to read more than you typically would and themed reads is just reading at your normal pace, but trying to prioritize specific books.

In the year of our Lord, 2019, I did themed reads for the months of February (Black History Month), when I read exclusively from black authors; May (Mental Health Awareness Month), when I only read books that had mental health rep of some sort; and June (Pride Month), when I only read books with queer characters.

Even though I didn’t excell in all of these, I think it was a great chance to take some books off of my long-time TBR and also read new titles. During Pride Month, for example, I both read books I had wanted to read since forever – aka A Song of Achilles – and books that had just been released – aka Red, White and Royal Blue.

So, after having tried themed reads for a whole month before, I think I can now discuss some of the pros and cons of it.

Starting with the positives:

• Motivation to read more diversely! In the future, I want to do an entire month where I dedicate myself to read only about disability, because I know I’ve been lacking to read more with this rep. Even though you’ll be focusing specifically on a certain theme, you can still read from any genre or age range you’d like.
• Getting to know new authors/titles. When doing my research for my themed months, I ended up finding out a lot of new authors I could check out. I find that this can put you truly out of your comfort zone and reach for people you had never heard of before and can be pleasant surprises!
• Building a “repertoire“. I don’t know how else to call this, so I’ll be using the word “repertoire”, even though it is in the incorrect one. But, basically, you’ll have more books to recommend in the future under this specific theme, because you dedicated and prioritized these titles, so you’ll definitely learn more about it.

• You can be behind in new releases. I think this would mostly be a con for people that get a lot of ARCs and need to stay on top of those, due to their release dates and other deadlines. If you dedicate yourself to read only a certain theme in a month and the ARC you have doesn’t really fit under that theme, you’ll definitely end up behind.
• Not the best for mood-reading. I considered myself a mood reader for a long time, but I’ve been slowly getting more on track with the reading schedule I set for myself at the beginning of the month. However, if you really are a mood reader, it can be hard to just pick whatever you want, since you still have to stay under the theme/topic.
• It can get tiring. I feel like it obviously depends on the theme and how you decide to do it, because this can totally be as diverse and different as you want, without ever getting tiresome. But for Mental Health Awareness Month, for example, I only read YA contemporary. If you’re not a fan of the genre, or you need to mix it up often, it probably will be a burden at the end of the month.

Now, I want to hear from you: have you ever tried “themed reads” for a month? If so, how did you do it? Do you think it would work for you? Let’s chat in the comments!

 

monthly wrap up: october, ’19

Hello, friends!

October lasted for forever, I feel like. And I also can not believe is already November. As the end of the semester approaches, I anticipate I won’t be able to blog much this month, but I’ll work my hardest to be on top of everything.

HIGHLIGHTS

• I turned nineteen! It was my birthday this month, but unfortunately, I spent most of the day sick and I didn’t do much, except for having lunch with my parents and watching Bridget Jones at night. It took me a couple weeks to fight the cold completely, but I got the chance to celebrate it properly with some other friends later on in the month. I also got some cool birthday presents: a Titanic t-shirt, some laptop stickers and the book Just Kids, by Patti Smith.
• I watched a bunch of gymnastics. Earlier in the month, there was a World Championship in Sttutgart, Germany and as a huge fan of gymnastics, I watched the whole thing. From my bed, of course, but still. Even though my couple of favorite gymnasts didn’t get any medals, I was still super happy to watch and cheer for them. I’ve never done gymnasts or anything, but for some reason, I’m obsessed with the sport and love following as many competitions as I can. This one was really fun, albeit predictable, since the Russians are so good, lol.
• I bought tickets and I’ll be watching Taylor Swift next year! I still can’t believe I’m writing these words. I legit never thought this day would come and had already made peace with the fact Taylor wouldn’t be ever stepping foot in South America. But she announced the Lover Tour will in fact come to Brazil and I finally have the chance to watch my #1 favorite artist live! I didn’t get the best seats, sadly, and definitely spent more money than I should’ve, but it’s still a dream come true. The concert won’t be for another six months, but I’m thrilled nonetheless.

BOOKS I READ

★★★★★

I was supposed to read this around my birthday on October 5th, because the title was just super fitting, but I accidentally devoured this in a day. This was possibly one of the best reading experiences I’ve had this year and I can not wait to buy a physical copy so that I can re-read it forever. I loved absolutely everything about it. Starting with the characters, Morgan and Eric are both so lovely and go through so much. Morgan is obviously struggling with her gender and sexuality and Eric with his family and abusive father. The friendship they have, though, is so pure and amazing and felt like a true breath of fresh air amongst the hardships they were facing. The way the book is written also allows you to watch them grow up and become their own people and change and evolve in some of the most beautiful but heartbreaking ways I’ve ever read about. I just want everyone to read this. The audiobook was great and features an interview with the author at the end that made me think a lot. I specifically loved how they mentioned how problematic it can be to carry on “cancel culture” we see online to our day to day life and how it is worth fighting for a better life amongst our communities. What I’m trying to say is: please read this. Thank you.

★★☆☆☆

This was probably my most anticipated release of 2019 and I’m so disappointed I can barely talk about it. I finished this before Rainbow Rowell released there’s a next book coming out, but I still feel this one lacks a lot. Maybe, reading the whole trilogy, I’ll feel better about this and I’ll definitely consider re-reading it upon the release of the third one, but honestly, it’s like Baz and Simon didn’t have one conversation for more than two lines that wasn’t interrupted. They didn’t work any of the issues they had at the beginning of the book and it feels like a potential development wasted. The representation of the vampires made me annoyed AF too. I feel like nothing much about the magic system in this book makes a whole lot of sense and could’ve been build up better. I also wanted more closure for Simon as a character, and I expected that as soon as they said they would be going to America, but literally nothing happened. Basically: this book could’ve been everything but nothing happened, and I’m mad.

★★☆☆☆

I listened to the audiobook for Emergency Contact, which, by the way, I really do not recommend. The narrator for Sam was really bad and spoke with this monotone, low voice tone that made almost impossible for me to hear him, even with earphones on. It also didn’t help that I couldn’t be less interested in the actual content of the book. Although I appreciated how it discussed mental health, with really important descriptions of anxiety and panic attacks, as well as how it gave us insight on the artistic process both of the characters (Penny as a writer and Sam as a film-maker) are going through, I really disliked this book. There’s so much girl hate. Just so much. It’s 2019, for God’s sake. I am also really done with YA characters complaining about the great parents they have, or acting like special snowflakes because they are sooooo different and awkward. Surprisingly, I actually appreciated the writing style and it gave me almost Rainbow Rowell vibes sometimes, but I still feel like we couldn’t have chosen more unlikeable protagonists to follow, as both are judgemental and annoying AF.

★★★★★

Apart from Wayward Son, Jackpot was my second most anticipated release of the year, and at least this one really did meet all of my expectations. I absolutely adore Nic Stone as an author and her writing style is so captivating. This book was a lot of fun, despise discussing such hard themes. That’s probably what I adore so much about her books: the fact that she can write these really witty and funny dialogues and amazing, three-dimensional characters, but also address themes such as racism, poverty and privilege really well. Zan was such a great character (and I couldn’t help but picture him as Riverdale’s Archie the entire time, lol) and so was Rico. The family dynamics here were also so pure and made me feel everything. Basically: Nic Stone is a queen and I think you all need to read all of her books.

★★★★☆

My re-read for the month was The Dream Thieves, by Maggie Stiefvater. This is my favorite installment in The Raven Cycle series and I obviously wanted to prioritize a book I love for my birthday month. I decided to listen to the audiobook, since I’m already so familiarized with the story, but I really hated it. The narrator did such a weird voice for Kavinsky and he sounded more like a funny Disney sidekick than an actual villain. He also kept pronouncing ‘Niall’ Lynch as ‘Neil’ Lynch and that triggered me a lot. I still enjoyed the book enough, though I didn’t love it like I thought I would. I guess I’m really just realizing now the amount of problems in The Raven Cycle series I hadn’t noticed before. Like, the insta-love or Blue never being able to truly stand up for herself. How Gansey treats Ronan like a child he has to discipline instead of an actual friend. The fact the word ‘gay’ only showed up with a negative connotation, like when Kavinsky was trying to offend someone. I still really adore the characters and reading about Joseph Kavinsky always makes me weirdly happy, but this was probably my one disappointing re-read of the year.

★★★☆☆

As a birthday present, I got a copy of Patti Smith’s Just Kids. If I’m being honest, I didn’t know anything about Patti Smith before reading this book, but I thought it would be a good way to learn more. I’m really interested in the period between the 60s and the 70s and this book was a true immersion. Patti Smith lived more in twenty years than probably many people lived in their lifetimes. From living in the streets of New York with nothing but a passion towards reading to a groundbreaking punk artist, the book digs deep in her early 20s and the hardships she had to go through and also her relationship with Robert Mapplethorpe. I didn’t know much about him either, but their relationship was so interesting to read about. They were both really unique individuals, that found each other no matter the circumstances and I loved the photos we got to see in the book as well. I think this is just one of those books that throws you into rabbit holes of wanting to learn more about not only them, but also the people they interacted with, idolized, and both. However, I’d have enjoyed this a lot more if it had focused more on Patti than on Robert, because I truly just did not care that much about him as an artist or as a person.

ON THE BLOG

• TOP 5: Books to Match my Birth Chart
• BOOK REVIEW: Love From A to Z
• A TRIP TO MY HOME COUNTRY: Birthdays and Celebrations
• BOOK TAG: Identity Crisis
• BOOK REVIEW: Wayward Son
• What I’ve Been Watching Recently #1

MONTHLY PLAYLIST

As October is my birthday month, I really wanted to include a lot of songs I love, even though some are oldies here (like We Don’t Talk Anymore, by Charlie Puth and Selena Gomez). There’s definitely a ton of K-POP, but most importantly, musicals too! I went back to listen again to the soundtrack of Dear Evan Hansen and I’m so glad I did.

I want to listen to a lot more musicals, so you can definitely expect some on my November playlist!

LOOKING FORWARD

If I’m being honest, I’m not looking forward to November at all. It will be a packed month and I have so much going on at college. I apologize in advance for my lack of blog hopping and posting, but it’s the end of the semester and I have several projects and things to work on. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

Let me know what you guys are excited about in the month of November and what did you do this October!